Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Missing Him More Than Ever

I miss him so much. I don't even know what to do anymore. It seems like he's been gone for forever. I feel so alone knowing i can't be next to him. All i want is him. I miss him so much that i can't even function anymore. I can't sleep anymore because he's not with me, i can barley eat and i don't even focus at work anymore. I realize we fight, but we always come through for each other. I'm quite tired of arguing. Almost to the point where i act like i don't care. Only because i'm at a loss for words. I don't have the strength to argue with him anymore. So i'll let him win. All i want to do is talk to him now. Not that i didn't always, but a lot more than i normally do. I guess it's because the distance is taking it's toll on me. I'm never going to give up on him. I know he is worth it. I'm laying in my bed missing him, like always. He's always on my mind. I'm trying to be strong for him but i feel like he's watching me fall apart. I love him more and more each day, which makes him not being here that much harder...god i miss him.....when will this get easier? I can't even think anymore...

"She who waits serves too."

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

What It Takes.

It can be said that all relationships are work, but being involved in a military relationship adds another level of difficulty to the mix. The military has its own lifestyle, language, expectations and complications. Being with a military man is not always easy but it can be worth it. The key to a successful military relationship is to cope with the ups and downs of military life.

1. Decide if military life is for you. Before you run headlong into love, determine if you are up to the challenge. Being a military girlfriend means dealing with deployments, his buddies, military formalities, military acronyms and sometimes coming second to the military. If you are not ready for that and more, move on to another man.

2. Learn to be independent. Be aware that your boyfriend can be swept away by his service at any time. Although you can depend on him, you have to depend on yourself more. Learn to do things on your own. Be brave and try new things. Find hobbies to mask your waiting time.

3. Build a trusting and communicative relationship. Talk with each other about everything. Be completely honest with one another. Be patient with your military boyfriend when he can't always talk to you. Know that he does care about you, even when he can't always show it. Trust his decision.

4. Join an online military girlfriend support group or forum. Many of the military wife forums also welcome girlfriends. Shop around before picking one that suits you. Each forum and group has its own personality. You want to meet people who match your needs. The women in the groups can answer your questions, lend a listening ear and understand your situation when no one else can.

5. Learn the basics of military acronyms. Every branch of the military has its own language and acronyms.

6. Know his MOS, what he actually DOES, where he's stationed, his unit and rank. Otherwise you'll look stupid when someone asks you any of these and you don't know.

7. Meet other people in your military man's unit. I would suggest going with him and meet the guys he works with as well as their wives and girlfriends. When you are a military girlfriend, you are often left out of the loop when it comes to the dissemination of unit information. The unit tells things to the wives, but not to the girlfriends.

8. Get used to military time. It's not 6 p.m., it's 1800 hours. Also get used to them arriving at functions at least 15 minutes early. Military men are punished when they are late, so being early becomes a habit that bleeds into their everyday life.

9. Prepare yourself for a deployment. Whether for a few months or a couple of years, deployments are a reality. Although he may not be deploying today, it doesn't mean he can't be tomorrow. Prepare for the worst. Just in case.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

The Ugly Truth's Of These Army Wives & Girlfriends.

There are just some wives out there that can't open their mouth without a lie coming out. And, boy, do they talk about their husband's all the time. This is the same for Army girlfriends, but i see it more with the wives. This is when you want to slap them in the face and tell them NOBODY CARES! You hear their shit all the time, it is either me, me, me .... oh and of course, me. Or, it is my husband this, my husband is promoting to this, my husband that. It is annoying to hear them ramble about their "perfect" life ALL THE FREAKING TIME! In reality, their life isn't perfect. Whose is? But, usually, these wives are the most pathetic and unhappy people on the planet.

Warning: I can and will be cruel for the rest of the posting.

Every wife I have met, that had this most perfect life they have to brag about 24/7, turned out to be unhappy. Trying to make people envy your life, isn't going to change what goes on at home. And, every achievement one woman does...they have done better. And, it seems that money grows on trees for them. They brag about what labels they have, or how much clothes shopping they did because they lost weight. I'm sorry, but everyone has noticed how you have NOT lost weight. Bragging about going to the gym everyday and losing weight is such a bald face lie when everyone has noticed how you can't fit through your front door anymore. And, to top it all off, we all notice how these wives have the most miserables husbands on the face of the planet. They are embarrassed to be with their wives! It is so obvious, a blind man could sense it. This does not apply to all wives, only to those who wake up every morning and lie about their lives every day so they can feel important.

Brag about your husbands all you want, but they are in the military with the same general serve their country. So, why brag? There is no point besides trying to make yourself the queen of something. It pisses me off so bad, SO BAD, when these wives make themselves like such righteous beings but then rub it in every wife's face about how their life is better. From their vehicles, pay, rank, how many kids they have, clothes, houses, what new thing their "husband bought for them" (really it is what they bought themselves, thanks for their husband fighting for our country), volunteering (just a show, and 99% of the time a lie), FRG, etc. etc. We all know these wives, and they know who they are. They try to make out like they are the best of friends and a wife that is so knowledgeable about deployments to come talk to, but they are really in a corner crying most of the time because they can't handle the truth and break down on their own time because life and the military is too confusing for them.

Some, not all, of these wives are so freakin full of themselves, it isn't a wonder their husbands either mess around on them or think about it. (Not all husbands fit into this category) Wives that are so controlling and so obnoxious, the husband can't take it any longer. Honestly, sad to say but true, most of these wives are a bit on the heavy side. Because they let themselves go after marriage and sit on their fat lazy asses all freakin day. And, no, baby fat is not an excuse after one year or even 6 years after your last child. Health issues are a different story, and understandable. I am only referring to those fat wives that don't do shit! It may seem that i have something against Army wives, in some ways i do. Only because from the one's i've seen have married into the military for the wrong reasons, therefore i don't have anything nice to say about them.

So, anyway, just so they can take sit, collect U.S. government money and benefits, have pity parties about their husband is a soldier (oh yes, we are all crying here for you), let people pat them on the back and thank you for your service as a wife (sorry, what service?), and, can't forget this one, to let people be awed by their "perfect" life. Okay, this is where I get confused with these wives. Do you want us to cry for you or do you want us to want your perfect life? One minute it is "Oh, my soldier has been gone this long for deployment, But, don't worry, it is a sacrifice I make" or it is the "my life is so freakin perfect....envy me!". Which one is it? We are all dying to know. There are too many wives to count that are like this.

Seriously, do these women pick up on how miserable their husbands are? They are dense if they don't. With these wives, deployment is a vacation to these men. That is why they volunteer to stay back later with extra duties. That is why they try to stay at work as long as possible. That is why they can't wait for more training to be away for just a few days from the bitching and waking up every morning next to that. That is why he gladly reenlist and prays every night for another deployment to be away from her, or at least lots of long training at different posts. Who would blame them? Not all of them are like this, and not all of them cheat on their wives. Some of them are discusting. But after reading some post's and listening to some Army wives. I don't think i can blame them. Is it not exhausting!? After coming home from work they have to sit up and listen to you rant MORE about the Army. Here's a quick fix. STOP ALREADY.

Honestly, i'm no Army wife. I might be later on in life, but as of now, no. And even if i WAS an Army wife at this moment, it wouldn't matter. I love my boyfriend for who he is, not his rank, or his MOS. I think these women forget that SOMETIMES it's not all about the Army. Tell some other story about your relationship that does NOT include some aspect of the Military! It's tiring to hear about it, i can only IMAGINE what it's like to talk about it. I understand that sometimes they might feel sad and upset, lonely. But talking about what bull shit the Army has done to you and your family is getting old. If you feel the need to talk about it, write about it instead. SPARE us. That way no one else has to read or hear about it. A couple, "I miss you's, or I love you's" are perfectly fine. It's the, "OMFG, my husband (boyfriend) is deploying. I don't know how i'll live. My life is over." How about we just translate that to, "Please give me sympathy because now that he is leaving i will have no one." Either you knew what you were coming into prior to the relationship, or you were already in the relationship when your s/o joined. Either way, you aren't the only one going through it!! So stop acting like your situation is sooo much different. It's not.

So, really? Your life is perfect? Why can't your husband or boyfriend stand you? Why can't you keep your trap shut about made up lies about your life? Why does every wife or girlfriend tend to roll her eyes when you turn your back? If you want to keep your man and your precious life as an army wife or girlfriend, hit the gym more and put an effort. Get up in the morning and cook him breakfast. Clean the house. Actually LOVE him, not the rank or the U.S. Army name tape. Wives back in the day got up before the sun rose to starch and iron her husband's uniform, shine his boots, make him breakfast, and be a GOOD wife to her husband before, during, and after work. And, they went months without hearing a word if their s/o's were safe when wars killed thousands in one day. Army wife life is easy now. It's not even half as much effort as wives 50 years ago went through. So stop your crying and be an ARMY WIFE. Not a fake title.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

One Year Anniversary!

We've finally reached our one year mark! I'm so happy! It might not seem like a really long time to be dating but i feel like it's been forever! Needless to say i feel accomplished. I never thought we would last this long. Not because i didn't believe in our relationship but because we were so far away from each other that i had my doubts. Now that we've made it through our first year together i know that we can overcome anything.

I flew to Washington on October 27th. LONGEST FLIGHT EVER! I stayed until November 1st. I was so excited to see him. He picked me up and we went to Denny's. It seems like we're always eating there. Afterwards we checked into our hotel. It felt so nice to sleep next to him again. It's the best feeling i have. I also sleep better than ever when i'm with him. I think it's a comfort thing. I always feel safe with him. The next morning i woke up early, which i never do. I think it's because i usually sleep the day away when i go up there so this time i wanted to be awake with him as much as possible. I love the feeling i get when i'm with him. It always feels so new every time i see him again. I love it.

Throughout the weekend we went to see Paranormal Activity and Footloose. (or as Austin calls it..."Footgroove") We also went to the mall and walked around, looking at different things. We ate out a lot. I don't know why but whenever we're together we eat all the time. I think it's because if he doesn't eat, he gets cranky and then he pisses me off. We went to a haunted house and it was SCARY. I was basically latched onto Austin the ENTIRE time. And i think i twisted my neck somehow...

We went to his friend Bobby's house for their little Halloween party. Everyone was pretty nice and Austin looked adorable in his Pokey costume!! I hated the fact that i couldn't see his face half the night, but that was okay. I was a beast at beer pong though! What what?! My back hurt from carrying Austin...;)

Before we left for the party!
My little Pokey!
I love him!
Uh oh...look who's in trouble.
Austin's 'serious' face.
On our anniversary we went to eat at Olive Garden...semi fancy...yeah. Austin and i are like that couple that doesn't care what we do as long as we're together. We don't need to go to fancy places and make things all dramatic because we just love being with each other. I'm so happy to have him in my life. I couldn't ask for a better guy in my life. He's as perfect as they come. I love you snookums!