Sunday, April 15, 2012

Always & Forever

I think about you a lot to be honest. If you ask me, i wouldn't deny it. You always seem to sneak into my head, i like talking to you because you make me smile all the time, you're the only one who can make me smile at the mention of your name and i'm happy with it. I can't really explain anything else, because you're someone special to me and something different. It's a good thing though, i like it. It makes you interesting. You aren't like the "others" and i respect you for that. Be yourself, you have a beautiful personality and that would be a big loss if you changed it.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Right Here Waiting

This week's topic is loyalty and faithfulness; an issue pretty close to my heart. Austin and I were only a few days into our relationship before he left. Most people thought I was crazy to think that I could really have a long distance relationship with a man I had only known for a few weeks; but I was certain. I knew deep down that not only was I completely in love with Austin, but that I would wait as long as I had to for us to be together.

It feels a bit strange to me that I am even writing this post. It would seem to me that in any relationship, it would be obvious that cheating is verboten. However, I've been around the military enough to know that cheating all too frequently portrayed as inevitable.

I have a difficult time with that idea. The thought of cheating on Austin never occurred to me. Was it difficult to be without him for eleven months? Hell yeah it was!! But he was the one I wanted, so why even consider looking elsewhere?

All the military girlfriends and wives I surrounded myself with felt the same way. I did know of girls who were screwing around, but they were a minority by far. Most of us were (and still are) fiercely loyal and completely faithful.

Not to say that temptation doesn't exist. I really do think that guys have this homing beacon that they sense when a girl has a deployed boyfriend/husband. When Austin left, it was as if guys just came out of the woodwork. It's as though deployments/distance can turn otherwise nice civilian guys into creeps who are convinced that military girlfriends/wive want nothing more than to leave their men for them.

For me, the extra attention was the last thing I wanted. I wanted Austin, plain and simple...nothing and no one else. One guy told me he could make me really happy. My response: "Great, so you're going to go get my boyfriend for me? Because he's the only one who's going to make me that happy right now."

I've been cheated on before and it's not in me to be that girl. I could never cause Austin that kind of pain. No matter how bad things ever got, cheating was never even a consideration. So, while Austin has a lot of things to worry about while he's gone, my faithfulness and our relationship weren't on that list.