Some women I know who have being a Military wife/girlfriend down pat are those who see this as an adventure. And really when you think about it, it is just that! It is all in the way you look at things. Take the whole moving experience for example. You can look at it in two ways…
"I cannot believe we just got PCS orders to move AGAIN! We haven’t even been here very long at all. Now I have to pack all of our things, say goodbye to another set of friends and move to this strange place. I heard the base is horrible and on base housing should be condemned even though there’s a 12 month waiting list. This is going to be the worst two years of my life."
"Well, in the civilian world, you would have to take all this time off to research cities to see which one would be the best fit for your family. You have to spend precious time agonizing over the right decision, the right job, the right place. Not us! We get our direction on a little piece of paper called orders. They tell us where to go so we don’t have to decide. I get to meet new people every few years and now have a network of friends around the world. In all likelihood, I’ll never have to pay for a hotel room again because there’s not too many places we could go where there isn’t someone we know. My kids will learn to adapt to change well which will only help them when they graduate from college and enter the real world with their first job."
Ok, so maybe that one is a little too upbeat but you get the picture. Your mind and your attitude are very strong. If you tell yourself things are going to be horrible, then you will subconsciously search out things that will validate those beliefs. You will overlook the good and only search for the bad. But the same is also true in reverse. When you expect things to be exciting, you will search out things that will validate those beliefs as well.
There is an old story from a Chicken Soup for the Soul book that talks about a wife wrecking their car. When she tells her husband about it, she says there’s no need to be upset. We can have a wrecked car and be angry about it or we can have a wrecked car and be happy about it – either way we have a wrecked car.
So next time, you get that unexpected surprise from the Military…just tell yourself, we can be angry about this or happy about this but either way, this is still happening. Wouldn’t you rather be happy?
Is that a new signature i see? Why, yes it is! ;)