5 people you need to stop stressing about

Your Ex: There’s a reason they are called “exes” and not “currents”. They were in your life, now they’re not. End of story. Look at a tough break up as a chance to grow as a person, and be thankful for all the emotions you are feeling. At least you are feeling something, and that is beautiful.

Your “Best Friend”: Giving someone the label of “best friend” puts a lot of pressure on your interactions. Often times they will disappoint you. Just enjoy the friendship of this person, enjoy the good, leave the bad and get on with living.

Your Arch Nemesis: Everyone has a person that really grinds their gears. Perhaps they stabbed you in the back; maybe you just hated them from the start. Too often, we are forced to interact with this person in one capacity or another. Stop wasting your emotional energy on this person and redirect into bettering yourself. Through improving yourself you will be able to approach your nemesis in a healthy way.

Your Relationship: You really like/love this person. A lot. Sometimes you feel consumed by thinking about them. They are everything you think you want. And you are terrified. Nothing is a turn off like desperation, so stop stressing about your love interest and let things play out how they may. Even if things go horribly, you will have saved yourself a lot of mental anguish in the process.

Yourself: No one stresses you out more than yourself. Your faults, your quirks, your hopes, dreams, failures and successes can all be a source of stress. It is important to consider a larger idea when going through your day to day life: Am I doing what I need to be in order to be happy? I'm just saying.

The Rubber Band Theory

You’ve probably heard of the book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray. I read the book a few months ago and while I thought a lot of it was a bunch of hooey, there is still one concept that I’ve carried with me ever since reading it.

It’s called the Rubber Band Theory. It plays on the idea that like a rubber band, the man will start to want his space and pull back. Instead of chasing after him, the woman should let him have his space, and maybe even pull back a bit herself. With this space comes tension, just like you would see when you pull a rubber band in two separate directions. But the further you pull the rubber band apart, the more strongly it will come together creating an even closer relationship.

At first I thought this was an odd concept. Why would you want to pull away? But then I realized, the opposite of pulling away is when you cling on and seek even more attention=not good. There’s probably nothing more annoying to a guy when a girl is at his beckoning call, waiting, practically begging for his attention. Being a little mysterious, or better yet, being independent is much more attractive than being a girl who has nothing better with her time than to sit around and wait for some of his attention.

It’s not always easy to live like this but I think our relationships will ultimately be happier when we’re not so dependent. Our happiness shouldn’t have to come from our partner–it should come from within. Now hopefully I can take my own medicine!

Let them wear pink: An open letter to Olympics pundits

Mary Lou Retton, 1984

Dear sports geeks, commentators, politicians, gym rats and couch potatoes alike:

It doesn’t matter what colors the Olympians wear.

You’ve probably seen or read the “backlash” against 16-year-old American medalist Gabby Douglas, who wore—gasp! A pink leotard in her last Olympic appearance.

“It’s not patriotic!”

Excuse me, y’all. Gabby had already competed several times, wearing blue, red, and a whole pile of crystals. By the time she appeared in pink, she was surely a household name. Plus, she was competing individually, not with her team. So, let her wear pink.

Did anyone complain when swimmer Rebecca Soni wore a hot-pink suit as part of the U.S. women’s swim team?

Rebecca Soni

I don’t think so. And not that it mattered much, since those swimmers are so fast in the water you barely see their suits (which are mostly boring black).

You might argue that Olympic athletes should always wear their nations’ colors, and I won’t argue that an attractive color scheme is a nice addition to the proceedings. But look at Mary Lou at the top of this post. I wouldn’t say the American flag motif is that flattering, would you?

And what about our super-patriotic medal-receiving track suits?

Gabby Douglas on the podium. 

Don’t our athletes look so American in our steel-gray windbreakers, black pants, and neon sneakers? It just screams “USA,” right?

I didn’t think so. (Those Russian jackets are even worse, but that’s for a different battle.)

In order to make it to the Olympics, athletes train relentlessly and are pressured to operate not as ordinary humans, but as perfect machines. Opportunities to display personal style at the Olympics should be embraced. Uniform colors aren’t likely to make or break athletes’ performances.

Bring on the pink, Olympians. And the red, white, and blue. And even the neon green.

Go, Gabby! 

Ten best things about The Lone Star State!

Ten? I can ONLY pick ten "best things about Texas"??? Well, I'll try to restrain myself...

1. Saturday night on the Riverwalk in downtown San Antonio. The mood is always festive. The drinks as icy cold as the music is hot. There's good food, fun little shops, great scenery, fun local tradition, and plenty of people to party with.

2. Austin's music scene. Spend an evening on East Sixth Street where live music is celebrated with a fervor that every city should muster. Chill out in a funky club, try one of the humongous jalapeno burgers in the El Camino, or head over to Stubbs where the barbecue is the best in Texas and the music even draws big name rock, pop, and blues artists coming to pick up a few cues from the masters.

3. Hanging out on the beach in South Padre Island. It may be known as a Spring Break Mecca, but the fall months would be my favorite time to go because the weather is still fabulously warm and the crowds slim enough for the locals to slow down and smile along with the tourists. Take a dolphin spotting cruise out into the Gulf, or catch a few trophy fish. Enjoy a spectacular sun set over Laguna Madre, or come in the winter for the bird watching opportunities, as flocks of northern songbirds come for the warm ambience.

4. Any day in October at the Texas State Fair in Dallas. Maybe it's the thought of seeing the biggest livestock specimens in the Lone Star State that will bring you. Maybe it's the thought of taking a ride on the Texas Star --- biggest ferris wheel in America. Maybe it's the chance to root the UT Longhorns on to victory over those dastardly Oklahoma Sooners. Or maybe it's just putting aside your diet for a while to enjoy a huge greasy deep fried corn dog and a mug of homemade root beer.

5. Celebrating a hot, sunny Texas summer day on the lazy river tube rides and wild wave surfer rides at Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels. Does the world know a bigger, bolder, badder waterpark?? I've never seen it.

6. Rafting down the Rio Grande in Big Bend National Park. The rugged dry backcountry of southwest Texas is sure a far cry from the pine-studded forests of more northerly states, but the dramatic stone formations and the stark desert landscapes have their own natural beauty and drama.

7. Waking up on Sunday morning and having breakfast in a great Tex-Mex restaurant where huge bowls of pozole brighten the morning and the barbacoa tacos with salsa verde taste so spicy you just know you're not in any wimpy state that fears the chile.

8. Ride on a ranch. Texas and cowboys go together like whipped cream on ice cream. The King Ranch in South Texas is bigger than the whole darn state of Rhode Island (and just as full of bull). See the ranch, or maybe experience the XIT rodeo or museum up in the northwest corner of the state. There's dozens of dude ranches you can visit if you want to live the cowboy life yourself for a little while.

9. Blast off for an afternoon of fun with a visit to NASA Johnson Space Center on the south side of Houston. The visitor's center is expensive, but kid friendly, and the guided tour of the space center itself is a fascinating view of America's "can do" attitude when it comes to our future outside the limits of planet Earth.

10. Houston Rodeo. February is a total extravagance in Houston when the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo rides into town. Trail riders come into town from every side of the city and the festival itself kicks off with a fun parade through the heart of the city. A huge midway thrills the kids, the cowboys love their riding events and livestock show, and every night there's a top name performer filling the Reliant Stadium for a live concert (naturally, there's country artists, but there's also rock, pop, and latin music stars to bring something for everyone).

*Insert Scream*

WARNING: If you don't like spiders, you might want to skip this post.

Today I was going to share with you the amazing-ness of my weekend but that will have to wait until tomorrow because I just had to share what is quite possibly the most terrifying moment of my life to date.

Scene: My hair still wet from the shower, I'm gathering some laundry and getting ready to put them in the washer. Anyways, the dogs start barking to go outside and i opened the back door to let them out.

I'm walking around mindlessly outside, waiting for them to do their deed, when I see it out of the corner of my eye.

But it couldn't be... could it? something *that* big cannot possibly be a spider... right? That has to be something else. I slowly inch my way towards it and I count... 1, 2, 3, 4... 7, 8 longer than life legs... I break out in a sweat.

As i rush to let the dogs in...the spider decides to head straight for my kitchen. And it just stops...between the door and me. Keep in mind that i'm still outside but not wanting to go anywhere near the OPEN (i might add) door.

I somehow manage to jump over the spider as it comes INSIDE and starts crawling on my wall. At that point i'm freaking out.

My thoughts:

"HolyShitWhereIsMyFianceWhenINeedHimToAttackTheEnemyWithHisBoots. Calm down, Steph it's just a spider... larger than an infants fist. eff you uncle sam, this is all your fault. I really need to take a picture, no one is going to believe me. This is SO going on my blog. Oh my god I have nothing to kill this thing with. I'm barefoot... it's sensing weakness... where ARE all my shoes?!"

I then proceeded to (1) take a picture, (2) find a shoe that I didn't care for but sturdy enough to kill the damn thing with one blow, and one blow only.

I got on a chair in the kitchen, never taking my eyes off the spider and stroke - somehow the thing flew off the wall and I screamed bloody murder, I'm honestly surprised the cops didn't show up after I screamed but anyway, I got off the chair. The spider laid on my dining room floor, dead but I still hit it a few more times with my shoe while saying "ew, ew, ew" the entire time. Gloves on (kid you not) I picked it up with a paper towel and took it straight outside in a bag. Victory!

Now I cannot stop searching every where in case one of these things sneaks up on me again. I do NOT do spiders people. I just don't. So I ask one thing, spiders please stay away until my fiance comes back and he can deal with you all on his own, pretty please? Thanks... One heart attack is enough. 

The official OSBYM Website! Released!

We finally released our new website. I had been working on this for about a month and was able to show the ladies! 

Here's what was posted:

We live in different states and coasts, we experience different things, we are all several years apart in age. But the things we have in common is our pride in our country, and the armed forces who serve, and our desire to help people who live this lifestyle. We have started this as a way to help anyone, serving active duty or reserves, married, dating, or engaged to a military member. We hope to provide information, inspiration, and answers to your question. If we can't we think we could at least point you to someone, or somewhere that could! The admins and I release to you a completely new project that we've been working on for the past month and a half. 

This website was created for those who are a fan of our Facebook page but of course we are always looking for new members so make sure to refer your fellow spouses and girlfriends! Here you will find all the information you'll need to get through deployment, PCSing, Homecoming, etc. This was all the information we could think of so far, so if anyone has anything that would be helpful to others that we did not create yet, please email us at operation_standbyyourman@yahoo.com or comment below! Although our page is for those only associated with the military, we do have other things to do here that doesn't have to do with the military. We know that sometimes the military gets to be too much and you want to stop thinking about it for a while, that's why we created the "Just for you" tab, it's filled with different categories that might just keep you entertained for a couple hours while your kids are at school and you get some "me" time. They are updated daily and weekly by your wonderful admins! So check us out, let us know what you think, we hope this can be a place you would refer to if you ever need help or to clear your head! Thanks, and enjoy!

Kailene, Kate, Myrna, Ashley, Crystal, Amanda and i are really excited to see how it takes off! More updates on the website later!

We're Engaged!

Welcome Back! Some exciting news has transpired since my last post, I am engaged! He popped the question on May 25th 2012, i said yes! So enjoy a little glimpse into our happiness!

My ring that I am in LOVE with – its the right amount of modern and traditional and so filled with LOVE.  I’m so excited, but mostly because I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend and the greatest man I know!

The ring is pretty styling if I do say so myself. Austin’s got nice taste! Hehe. I have very teeny fingers.

Austin proposed to me in a super stylish hotel room, (Hotel Murano in Seattle, Washington) said he couldn't wait any longer. Before he could even start his speech i quickly covered his eyes. I was overfilled with joy and happiness and couldn't believe this was really happening. We talked about marriage before but i never expected him to actually propose to me before he moved back to Texas. Is this really happening? To my surprise he whipped out the most beautiful ring i could ever have hoped to wear and call mine! I knew it was expensive and i was completely flattered that he thought i was worth it.

We told my parents. His parents already knew before it even happened. I told my sister and made her my official Maid of Honor! We also announced it to our friends! 

We set a date for November 2, 2013. I'm so excited. Nothing is set in stone though, it really depends on the venue we book and if the Military decides they have other plans for us. Fingers crossed that it doesn't!

Here's a view with the wedding band! You can actually put one on each side!

Front view!

Austin is my best friend. He is charming, reliable, funny, God-loving, and sensitive all in one, big, attractive, manly package. We've been together 1 year and 7 months. Since we first became a couple i wanted to be around him all the time. The Military had other plans for us. I am so happy i have been strong enough to stand by him. I could not be more excited to see what God has planned for us! Austin means so much to me and i can't believe he is actually going to marry me!