When in doubt, Reach out!

During the deployment, it’s pretty much a given that doubt will creep up on either of you at any point in time. You may question whether or not you have the strength to make it through. You may question whether or not your relationship is strong enough to survive. You may question whether or not it’s worth it or if he’s the right one.

Have faith and surround yourself with things that focus on the positives of yourself, your SO, the relationship, and the deployment. Look at pictures of the two of you, even though it might make you miss him. Save and read his letters and your IM conversations (the good ones), even though they may make you sad. Focus on the positives because anything else will just reinforce that dreaded doubt. Look at the things that will remind you of why you’re with him and in the relationship to begin with. You wouldn’t have put yourself in this position if there weren’t a good reason to.

Most importantly, if you’re having severe doubts, talk to him. Communication is so important, and there’s a good chance that he is feeling or, at one time or another, has felt the same way. If you can’t physically talk to him, send him an e-mail or write a letter. It still gets it off your chest and puts it out there, and even doing so can make you feel better. There’s nothing wrong with needing a little reassurance. The worst thing you can do is sit on the doubt and let it run…it can create irrational thoughts and feelings, create situations that don’t exist, and it can easily set the tone for fights and just plain disaster.

Also try to remind yourself of where he is and what he’s doing. The communication is hardly ever in his control, and he’s there to do his job. If he could be at home with you, sitting next to you watching a movie, there’s no doubt that he would snap his fingers or click his heels to make it happen.